Hmmm…

How do you react when someone attacks you unjustifiably?  Do you attack back?  Do you write a vicious post on facebook about that person?  Do you shrink back into yourself and pout like a small child?  I am definitely the latter.  Don’t get me wrong, I get mad, but I’m also horribly afraid of conflict so I will usually apologize profusely (regardless of whether I am guilty or not) and then have a ridiculous pity party for myself.  I repeated this cycle last night after I received a nasty message via facebook accusing me of horrible customer service.  I won’t get into details, but I will say that this person was incorrect in her accusations and have plenty of documentation to disprove her.  However, I am more than willing to admit that I am NOT a people person and I suffer from incredible shyness – I am a poor communicator but I work hard to try to improve and push myself out of my comfort zone.

Anyway, before I ramble on too long I want to share several things that went through my mind last night.  First off, I am a Christian – and every thing I do/say can be scrutinized by the world.  I don’t know if my accuser is a Christian (I have my suspicions, but that is neither here nor there) , but I have a duty…a responsibility to react in a Christian manner – anything less would be wrong…sinful even.  I’m reminded of the verse from Mark 9:42 “And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.”  We usually consider “these little ones” to be those who are very young in their faith – whether a child or simply a new believer.  But am I wrong to apply this verse to the circumstances for which I am writing?  True, I don’t know if she is a Christian, but even if she is not – do I not have a responsibility to make sure my reaction is not such that I put a black eye on Christianity?  Am I making sense?

I cannot imagine a worse thing than me personally being the reason someone would not be a fellow believer.  I despise Christian hypocricy.   I was once at a local church clothing giveaway event with 2 of my girls.  From across the room I could hear a woman cussing about something – I immediately scurried the girls to an area away where they wouldn’t hear this.  When I turned to see who it was that was cussing so much (in a CHURCH!), I was shocked/outraged/ saddened to see that it was a member of my own church.  I don’t know the circumstances that had her in such a state, but I cannot think of a single thing that would make her reaction acceptable.  She has been a member of this community for years and is known to be a believer – but what must those non-Christians who were there have been thinking?  That it is acceptable for a Christian to behave that way?  Or that she is just another of those Christians that behave 1 way on Sunday, and behave like the world the rest of the week.  I don’t know.  Being the wimp I am, I focused on keeping my girls out of earshot and getting out of there ASAP.  I pray that if I am ever in that position again, the LORD will give me the strength to kindly and lovingly approach and correct the individual.  For now, I continue to feel ashamed of fleeing.

So this and so much more has been swimming in my head for the last 12 hours – and I am struggling with how to balance how I feel Christ would have me be, and how not to allow myself to be a doormat for the world.  However, considering what HE has done for me, a few hurt feelings from time to time are a pittance.

Just to clarify – I am NOT saying that it isn’t OK to get mad.  “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  Ephesians 4:26, NIV   I forgot about that last part…perhaps that’s why I couldn’t sleep last night – WOW.

 

 

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